"self" HELP

Agreed because there is a lot of pruning and weeding until harvest and cleaning/it is a continuous cycle, indeed gardening is spiritual, has a lot of lessons....

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Understood. I can view it. It may be location specific requiring a vpn to view.

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Should be viewable with Brave browser or
TOR browser.

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Probably, do you have it's link and I try it on another browser pleae?

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I have requested for the link to try it here, thank you kindly.

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Hi Nam. It is a 3-minute movie clip from the film The Devil's Advocate. It features the wife (Mary Ann) waking-up (dramatically portrayed) to the occult in their life. This is the description in the video: CLIP DESCRIPTION: Mary Ann raises some suspicions about their new life as Kevin tries to comfort her.

Here is the link:
[ The Devil's Advocate (3/5) Movie CLIP - I Hate This Stupid Place (1997) HD - YouTube ]

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You're welcome.

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Thank you. Still it has refused to play using Brave, thankfully I have ever watched it and I have remembered that part. You are right could be location.

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You are welcome. I have noticed recently that they have made some movies location specific. Good to hear you know the part and no need to wonder what it was. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Have you tried using the TOR browser (not Brave's version), please?
(link posted above)

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Yes.

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Yes just tried and still said this video is not available.

Thank-you Nam for bringing attention to this. I was not aware that this was an issue till recently. From now on, when posting a video, I can include in the post a brief summary of the contents of the video (when applicable) for those who may have trouble viewing it. Often the video title makes the content self-explanatory, but that is not always the case. It is a good idea in general to do that. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Understood. Thank-you.
Here's something you can try within the TOR Browser.
Click on the 3 small horizontal lines on the top right corner.
Click on Settings.
On the top of that page in the search box type the word Bridge
It should bring you to the part of the settings that allow you to add a Bridge that may solve your problem.
Click on Select a Bridge
Select one of the options until one works.
Hope this helps.
Peace.

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How To Create Healthy Boundaries

“An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self truth and each party expresses strength and vulnerability honor, weakness quiet confidence (Isa. 30:15) and competence in a balanced way1.” ~Harriet Lerner ( words in italics are the original, words in bold are words that replaced them to make the sentence logical and not give into the emotional self.)

1Note: The above sentence wreaked of cognitive dissonance (double-mindedness – James 1:8) the way it was previously written.

This article was corrected in accordance with what the Bible teaches, not the world of self idolizing. Please see the book of Thomas for more in-depth guidance on overcoming our worst enemy, "self".

https://jahtruth.net/kofk-free/49thom.htm

Setting spiritual goals is essential if we want to be both physically and emotionally healthy. Creating a healthy spirit is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits spiritual goals, you protect against your “self”, maintain sanity, and enjoy healthy relationships.

Unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to dependency, depression, anxiety, and even stress-induced physical illness2. A lack of spiritual training is like leaving the door to your home unlocked: anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will (Matt. 24:43).

2****Trying to remember all of the made-up boundaries/lies to keep the ego inflated.

On the other hand, having too high of an opinion of one's self can lead to isolation, like living in a locked-up castle surrounded by a mote. No one can get in, and you can’t get out3.

3****Being full of one's “self” leaves no room for the truth to get in, which is the only thing that can set us free.

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are barriers, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for their “selves” what they prejudge to be safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how their “self” will respond when someone steps outside those limits. (outofthefog.net)

The easiest way to think about a boundary is a property line. We have all seen “No Trespassing” signs, which send a clear message that if you violate that boundary, there will be a consequence (Mark 12:31). This type of boundary is easy to picture and understand because you can see the sign and the border it protects. Personal “self” boundaries can be harder to define because the lines are invisible, can change, and are unique to each individual “self” (Deut. 12:8). Personal boundaries, just like the “No Trespassing” sign, define where your “self” ends and others begin and are determined by the amount of physical and emotional space your “self” allow between yourself and others. Personal “self” boundaries control you and decide what types of communication, behavior, and interaction are acceptable to it4.

4****Anything that reinforces its illusions and “self” deceptions.

Why is it important for the “self” to set boundaries (Rom. 8:5-8)?

•To practice self promotion and self defense

•To communicate its selfish needs in a relationship

•To make time and space for itself (Gal. 2:20)

•To set limits in a relationship in a way that is “self”-centered

Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries provide a barrier between your “self” and what it perceives to be an intruding force, like a Band-Aid protects a wound from abrasion. Physical boundaries include control over your body, its sense of personal space, its sexual orientation, and privacy (1 Cor. 9:27). These boundaries are expressed through clothing, shelter, noise tolerance, verbal restraint, and controlling body language. An example of physical “self” boundary violation: a truth talker. Its immediate and automatic reaction is to step back in order to reset its personal space. By doing this, it sends a non-verbal message that when this person comes too close to the truth it feels an invasion of its personal space5. If the truth continues to move closer, it might verbally protect its boundary by telling him/her to stop sharing the truth with you.

5****The “self” is constantly trying to reinflate itself, to take up all of its personal space.

Other examples of physical boundary invasions by the ego/“self” are:

•Inappropriate touching, such as unwanted sexual advances.

•Looking through others’ personal files and emails.

•Not allowing others their personal space. (e.g., barging into your boss’s office without knocking)

Emotional and Intellectual Boundaries

These boundaries protect your ego's sense of “self” importance and its ability to separate your from others (Luke 9:23).

When you have weak emotional boundaries, it’s like getting caught in the midst of a hurricane with no protection from your “self”. It exposes itself by being greatly affected by others’ words, thoughts, and actions and ends up feeling bruised, wounded, and battered6.

6****Self-pity is a powerful dark emotion.

These include beliefs, behaviors, choices, sense of responsibility, and your ability to be intimate (truthful) with others (Matt. 16:27). Examples of emotional and intellectual boundary invasions are:

•Not knowing how to separate your feelings from your ego's emotions and allowing his/her mood to dictate your level of happiness or sadness (a.k.a. codependency – Thom. 1:6-8).

•Sacrificing your plans, dreams, and goals in order to please it (the ego/”self”).

•Not taking responsibility for yourself and blaming others for your problems.

Barriers to Boundary Setting

It seems obvious that no one would want their boundaries violated by their “self” . So why do we allow it? Why do we NOT enforce or uphold our boundaries?

•FEAR of rejection and, ultimately, abandonment.

•FEAR of confrontation.

•GUILT.

•We were not taught healthy spiritual boundaries.

•Safety Concerns

Assess the current state of your(?) boundaries

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES allow you to:

• Control self importance and self discipline.

•Share information gradually, on a need to know basis, in a mutually sharing and trusting relationship.

•Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion by the “self”.

•Have healthy relationship where responsibility and power are constantly maintained by the spirit-Being over the “self”.

•Be certain before speaking. Confidently and truthfully say “yes” or “no” and be okay when others say “no” to you (Matt. 5:37).

•Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from your “self”. Recognize that your boundaries and needs are different from its.

•Empower your true, spiritual self to make healthy choices and take responsibility for yourself. If you are dealing with someone who is physically dangerous or threatening to you, it may not be safe to attempt to set explicit boundaries with them. If you are in this situation, it can be helpful to work with a THE Counselor, Therapist and Advocate (1 John 2:1) to create a safety plan and boundary setting may be a part of this.

UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES are characterized by the “self”:

•Sharing too much too soon or, at the other end of the spectrum, closing you off so it can express its need and wants.

•Feeling responsible for its happiness at the expense of others.

•Inability to say “no” for fear of rejection or abandonment.

•Inflicting its weak sense of your own identity. Deceiving you into basing how you feel about yourself on how others treat you, instead of on doing Father's Will (Matt. 6:10).

•Disempowerment. You allow others to make decisions for you (including your “self”); consequently, you feel powerless and do not take responsibility for your own life and actions.

Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries (Modified from the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine)

When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible, with no thought of “self”. Do not justify, get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting if you KNOW it's Father's Will. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the spiritual boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary in a respectful manner. If it upset them, know it is their problem.

Some people, especially those accustomed to controlling, abusing, or manipulating you, might test you. Plan on it, expect it, but remain firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You cannot successfully establish a clear spiritual boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing. At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a spiritual boundary. Do it anyway and remind yourself you have a right to care what's best for all concerned. Setting spiritual boundaries takes practice and determination.

Don’t let anxiety, fear or guilt prevent you from taking care of your “self” and keeping it in line**.** When you feel its anger or resentment or find your “self” whining or complaining, you need to set a spiritual boundary for it (James 1:19). Listen to your inner, spiritual self, determine what you need to do or say, then communicate concisely. Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. Set them in your own time frame, not when someone else (or your “self”) tells you. Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set spiritual boundaries. Eliminate toxic persons from your life—those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you (2 Cor. 6:14-16).

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Dear @Faithfulalways ,

Warm welcome to D.G.

:slightly_smiling_face:

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Welcome to our little humble corner of the internet.
Live in love,
Peace.

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Dear @Persistent

Thank you for posting about healthy boundaries.

Healthy boundaries in life bring fruitful blossoming promises from God, as He is coming from a loving place and truth.
If nurtured properly relationships can evolve and flow with ease, (If it is Fathers Will), yet in His loving wisdom, He provided us with the tools to conquer trouble or transgression, and ride the waves until they pass over.

"Setting spiritual goals is essential if we want to be both physically and emotionally healthy. Creating a healthy spirit is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits spiritual goals, you protect against your “self”, maintain sanity, and enjoy healthy relationships."

So true, a healthy spirit guided by the light, will keep "self" in check, as well as free from the fiery darts of satan and his seducers.

God tells us throughout the Bible about healthy boundaries and the consequences for not enforcing these, starting with the 10+2 Commandments, the blessings/curses, and the boundaries He has set.
Also, how to safely climb the ladder, avoiding snakes and pitfalls along The Way.

https://jahtruth.net/command.htm

https://thewayhomeorfacethefire.net/

https://jahtruth.net/blescur.htm

The Lords boundaries encompass the land, the heavens, the seas, and relationships with other human + beings.

In ACTS we are told:

17:25 Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed any thing, seeing He giveth to all life, and breath, and all things;
17:26 And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the Earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation

In EXODUS we are told:

23:31 And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee.

And in DEUTERONOMY:

32:8 When The Most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when He separated the sons of Adam, He set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel.

These are just some of the many examples of God setting His bounds.

In PSALMS:

74:17 Thou hast set all the borders of the earth: Thou hast made summer and winter

In JOB:

12:23 He increaseth the nations, and destroyeth them: He enlargeth the nations, and straiteneth them [again].

Again in JOB, different boundaries are being set by Job,
As he feels slighted and hurt by his friends.

6:13 [Is] not my help in me? and is wisdom driven quite from me?
6:14 To him that is afflicted pity [should be showed] from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty.
6:15 My brethren have dealt deceitfully as a brook, [and] as the stream of brooks they pass away;
6:16 Which are blackish by reason of the ice, [and] wherein the snow is hid:
6:17 What time they wax warm, they vanish: when it is hot, they are consumed out of their place.

As Christ has said you "hurt", because you are seeking human friends, when God can give you ALL you ever need.

In 1 JOHN:

2:15 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
2:16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is of the world.

Here we are reminded to be passerbys in this life.

Unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to dependency, depression, anxiety, and even stress-induced physical illness2 . A lack of spiritual training is like leaving the door to your home unlocked: anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will (Matt. 24:43 ).

As was stated above, Agreed, lack of spiritual training...
As a brother once said, "That's probably why it's going to take 1000 years with Christ to learn what we need to learn.

In PROVERBS God makes it clear, unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to depression, anxiety, and even stress induced illnesses, with,

PROVERBS:

18:8 The words of a talebearer [are] as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

Again The Lord warns us:

20:19 He that goeth about [as] a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

This is also reflective of a physical boundary NOT by "self", but by The Lord.

Or even the consequences that can happen in PROVERBS:

17:9 He that covereth a transgression procureth love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [close] friends.

Boundaries can be twofold, to draw people in, and build healthy relationships, or tear down and punish, depending on how one uses it.

Sometimes people are not even aware they are " building walls" instead of healthy boundaries. When one can see their spiritual eyes, recognizing the problem, then spiritual growth can occur. Focus, determination, persistence and practice can be put in place.

So we are surely grateful for the reminders of the safety and pitfalls, when utilizing (or not) healthy boundaries.

These that are set on a personal level can be moved at any time as trust and personal growth are renewed, or they pass with the seasons, as our Lord told us in ECCLESIATES:

3:1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted;
3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

We try not to compare boundaries that one has set with others, as only God and Christ know exactly what each individual needs.

In JAMES:

4:11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of The Law, and judgeth The Law: but if thou judge The Law, thou art not a doer of The Law, but a judge.
4:12 There is ONE Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

Christ sets His boundaries as well, as He is setting them in Gibraltar, as the Law Giver, the Fortress of The Rock will be given Him, His place of defence.

In PHILIPPIANS we are reminded about placing a boundary on "self":

2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or self-importance; but in humbleness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.

In HEBREWS God shows us His boundaries many times, for example:

13:5 [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord [is] my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

With His bold and loving reminder that He is The ultimate helper.
Looking at life in this perspective, with such deep gratitude, knowing God is the perfect friend and All that one needs.

Understand that no one has the power to knock you down unless you let them, so stand your ground and do what is right and always be on the lookout for how satan can use others to try and knock you off track.

Setting healthy boundaries may be tricky if your not careful, then you might set boundaries unknowingly that allow "self" to take front seat, instead of kicking "it" to curb.

As was stated from the article above, the "self" likes to set up barriers and walls, for "it's" needs and goals to inflate the ego. Recognize it and say "see ya".

Diminish it right away to get back to the real concerns of life, re - instating Gods Perfect Royal Laws of Liberty.

https://defending-gibraltar.net/t/about-the-reinstating-gods-law-category/255?u=be1

It is important to mention, space or distancing from another can't always be construed as "selfish", as we are told in PROVERBS:

22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
22:25 Lest thou learn his ways, and thy soul get snared.

Or even PROVERBS:

5:1 My son, attend unto My Wisdom, [and] bow thine ear to My Understanding:
5:2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and [that] thy lips may keep Knowledge.
5:3 For the lips of a strange woman drop [as] an honeycomb, and her mouth [is] smoother than oil:
5:4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
5:5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
5:6 Lest thou shouldest forget The Way of Life, her ways are moveable, [that] thou canst not know [them].
5:7 Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of My mouth.
5:8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:

Clearly The Lord wants physical boundaries and it is for ones own good.

So listen to that spiritual inner self, control the "self" ish side.
Recognizing is half the battle, we thank you for pointing in the right direction.
Consider what is acceptable, openly rebuke, as faithful are the wounds of a friend, but kisses of enemies are deceitful.

Place Gods Gate around your soul, abide under his wings.
Help each other to stay accountable.

27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. (Prov.)

Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it is Life. (Prov. 4:28).

Amen

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Welcome @Faithfulalways

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"Abel obeyed God and brought a lamb, EXACTLY as he was told to do, and was
ACCEPTED." - TWHOFTF

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