Dear @Persistent
Thank you for posting about healthy boundaries.
Healthy boundaries in life bring fruitful blossoming promises from God, as He is coming from a loving place and truth.
If nurtured properly relationships can evolve and flow with ease, (If it is Fathers Will), yet in His loving wisdom, He provided us with the tools to conquer trouble or transgression, and ride the waves until they pass over.
"Setting spiritual goals is essential if we want to be both physically and emotionally healthy. Creating a healthy spirit is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits spiritual goals, you protect against your “self”, maintain sanity, and enjoy healthy relationships."
So true, a healthy spirit guided by the light, will keep "self" in check, as well as free from the fiery darts of satan and his seducers.
God tells us throughout the Bible about healthy boundaries and the consequences for not enforcing these, starting with the 10+2 Commandments, the blessings/curses, and the boundaries He has set.
Also, how to safely climb the ladder, avoiding snakes and pitfalls along The Way.
https://jahtruth.net/command.htm
https://thewayhomeorfacethefire.net/
https://jahtruth.net/blescur.htm
The Lords boundaries encompass the land, the heavens, the seas, and relationships with other human + beings.
In ACTS we are told:
17:25 Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed any thing, seeing He giveth to all life, and breath, and all things;
17:26 And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the Earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation
In EXODUS we are told:
23:31 And I will set thy bounds from the Red sea even unto the sea of the Philistines, and from the desert unto the river: for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand; and thou shalt drive them out before thee.
And in DEUTERONOMY:
32:8 When The Most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when He separated the sons of Adam, He set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel.
These are just some of the many examples of God setting His bounds.
In PSALMS:
74:17 Thou hast set all the borders of the earth: Thou hast made summer and winter
In JOB:
12:23 He increaseth the nations, and destroyeth them: He enlargeth the nations, and straiteneth them [again].
Again in JOB, different boundaries are being set by Job,
As he feels slighted and hurt by his friends.
6:13 [Is] not my help in me? and is wisdom driven quite from me?
6:14 To him that is afflicted pity [should be showed] from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty.
6:15 My brethren have dealt deceitfully as a brook, [and] as the stream of brooks they pass away;
6:16 Which are blackish by reason of the ice, [and] wherein the snow is hid:
6:17 What time they wax warm, they vanish: when it is hot, they are consumed out of their place.
As Christ has said you "hurt", because you are seeking human friends, when God can give you ALL you ever need.
In 1 JOHN:
2:15 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
2:16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is of the world.
Here we are reminded to be passerbys in this life.
Unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to dependency, depression, anxiety, and even stress-induced physical illness2 . A lack of spiritual training is like leaving the door to your home unlocked: anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will (Matt. 24:43 ).
As was stated above, Agreed, lack of spiritual training...
As a brother once said, "That's probably why it's going to take 1000 years with Christ to learn what we need to learn.
In PROVERBS God makes it clear, unhealthy boundaries cause emotional pain that can lead to depression, anxiety, and even stress induced illnesses, with,
PROVERBS:
18:8 The words of a talebearer [are] as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
Again The Lord warns us:
20:19 He that goeth about [as] a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
This is also reflective of a physical boundary NOT by "self", but by The Lord.
Or even the consequences that can happen in PROVERBS:
17:9 He that covereth a transgression procureth love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [close] friends.
Boundaries can be twofold, to draw people in, and build healthy relationships, or tear down and punish, depending on how one uses it.
Sometimes people are not even aware they are " building walls" instead of healthy boundaries. When one can see their spiritual eyes, recognizing the problem, then spiritual growth can occur. Focus, determination, persistence and practice can be put in place.
So we are surely grateful for the reminders of the safety and pitfalls, when utilizing (or not) healthy boundaries.
These that are set on a personal level can be moved at any time as trust and personal growth are renewed, or they pass with the seasons, as our Lord told us in ECCLESIATES:
3:1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted;
3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
We try not to compare boundaries that one has set with others, as only God and Christ know exactly what each individual needs.
In JAMES:
4:11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of The Law, and judgeth The Law: but if thou judge The Law, thou art not a doer of The Law, but a judge.
4:12 There is ONE Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
Christ sets His boundaries as well, as He is setting them in Gibraltar, as the Law Giver, the Fortress of The Rock will be given Him, His place of defence.
In PHILIPPIANS we are reminded about placing a boundary on "self":
2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or self-importance; but in humbleness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.
In HEBREWS God shows us His boundaries many times, for example:
13:5 [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord [is] my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
With His bold and loving reminder that He is The ultimate helper.
Looking at life in this perspective, with such deep gratitude, knowing God is the perfect friend and All that one needs.
Understand that no one has the power to knock you down unless you let them, so stand your ground and do what is right and always be on the lookout for how satan can use others to try and knock you off track.
Setting healthy boundaries may be tricky if your not careful, then you might set boundaries unknowingly that allow "self" to take front seat, instead of kicking "it" to curb.
As was stated from the article above, the "self" likes to set up barriers and walls, for "it's" needs and goals to inflate the ego. Recognize it and say "see ya".
Diminish it right away to get back to the real concerns of life, re - instating Gods Perfect Royal Laws of Liberty.
https://defending-gibraltar.net/t/about-the-reinstating-gods-law-category/255?u=be1
It is important to mention, space or distancing from another can't always be construed as "selfish", as we are told in PROVERBS:
22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
22:25 Lest thou learn his ways, and thy soul get snared.
Or even PROVERBS:
5:1 My son, attend unto My Wisdom, [and] bow thine ear to My Understanding:
5:2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and [that] thy lips may keep Knowledge.
5:3 For the lips of a strange woman drop [as] an honeycomb, and her mouth [is] smoother than oil:
5:4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
5:5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
5:6 Lest thou shouldest forget The Way of Life, her ways are moveable, [that] thou canst not know [them].
5:7 Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of My mouth.
5:8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
Clearly The Lord wants physical boundaries and it is for ones own good.
So listen to that spiritual inner self, control the "self" ish side.
Recognizing is half the battle, we thank you for pointing in the right direction.
Consider what is acceptable, openly rebuke, as faithful are the wounds of a friend, but kisses of enemies are deceitful.
Place Gods Gate around your soul, abide under his wings.
Help each other to stay accountable.
27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. (Prov.)
Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it is Life. (Prov. 4:28).
Amen